The following is an article by a NICU Occupational Therapist, Sue Ludwig:
If you've never stepped foot in a NICU, you might be tempted to think it's a bustling place filled with baby noises like fussing, crying, and cooing. You'd be wrong. Mostly the babies are quiet. There are monitors, pagers, and ventilators beeping. Phones ringing. Staff and parents talking. But a noticeable lack of fussing coming from the babies. It's hard to cry loud with small lungs. So how is is that these fragile, nonverbal babies have so much to teach me? Well, like any of us, I learn in direct proportion to how much I pay attention. When you pay attention, these babies speak volumes. Here are the 10 lessons I've learned from the babies in the NICU.
1. Being early does not mean less human, less valuable, less worthy - ONLY less prepared. Pregnancies are full term by 37-40 weeks. So when a mother has her baby at 25 weeks, no matter what I tell her, she often feels shame that her baby is still " in the process of developing" Well who isn't. Here's the thing. We're always in the process! We are each starting over and over again in an endless cycle of learning and development. No guilt, no blame, no shame. (Especially when you've done all that you can to bring your baby safely into the world!)
2. We each communicate differently. It's easy to judge another person when she communicates differently, slower, or in a different dialect than you. The babies have taught me to listen first, assume nothing, and leave judging for the Olympics.
3. Small and feisty goes a long way! Visit a NICU sometime to see this one in action.
4. Environment Matters. Loud noises are stressful. The babies respond to this stress by being startled frequently, spending less time in deep sleep, and having changes in their heart rate and other vital signs. What about your environment? When you walk into the door in your home, do your surroundings add to your stress or decrease it? The environments that we create for ourselves directly affect our mood, our productivity, and our well-being. The babies have taught me that we thrive in an environment that heals us.
5. Connection Heals. There is nothing better for a baby than a loving connection with her mother and family. We are meant to be in connection with others.
6. Eating should be enjoyable! In the NICU we are obviously concerned with how much weight babies are gaining. In our quest for improving weight gain, we sometimes overlook the significance of the actual experience the baby has while eating. We should enjoy eating! But we often forget it's a nurturing experience for our bodies and feed only our emotions or are completely distracted while we eat, giving no attention to the experience or the food. Babies have taught me that eating should not be automatic. It should be intentional and engaging.
7. Tenancy is an inside job. About a decade ago a boy in our unit was born weighing just about a pound. He had significant lung disease months later when he was discharged home. Now, at age 9 he is the fastest boy on his soccer team. He taught me that tenacity isn't definable at the surface. It's something deeper, it comes from the inside. You know you are stronger than anyone would guess. Even when you weigh just a single pound!
8. Comfort and sleep are crucial to healing.
9. There are times for fighting and times for letting go. For a premature or sick baby, most days are about fighting and growing. They are about one more hurdle, one less tube, one more step toward home. And most babies win that fight. At other times, when all that medicine and love have to offer is not changing the tide, the nurses and the staff do the impossible job of helping a family lovingly let go. On the letting go days, I know only to go home and hug my children in humble gratitude. Loss is a powerful instructor. Life is precious, yes. And the babies teach me that it is hard to comprehend the gravity of that truth until we are asked to let it slip away.
10. Fragility and strengths are not necessarily opposites. If you look around the NICU and witness these tiny babies defying what seems reasonable for such a small person, you observe that fragility is often just strength's first teacher. I have rarely witnessed a population of patients that inspire such loyalty in their caregivers. Across the country I've noted that the NICU team appears, in my experience, to love this work. Maybe because we have the best teachers.
No comments:
Post a Comment